I had an attitude of plenty
Fridays, in the back of Mom’s car
Driving west on Foothill Boulevard
Scanning beer-bar parking lots for the truck.
Knew we’d find him, get his check, get some milk.
Plenty.
~
I had an attitude of plenty.
Sundays, feeling trapped at home
The weekend’s case or two
Propelling his temper along with drunkenness.
Prayed he’d soon pass out, we’d have peace…peace and quiet.
Plenty.
~
I had an attitude of plenty.
Those school-girl years
Exhaustion threatening to overtake
Perpetually in classes and clubs and commitments
Focused on my exit, my survival, my happiness, my strategy.
Plenty
~
I had an attitude of plenty.
College days, weeks, months
Clerking, schooling, twice full time
Wedging five-year’s work into 3 1/2.
Growing faith and confidence and a future.
Plenty.
~
I had an attitude of plenty.
The early career years, teaching
Foregoing other glory and gain
For acceptance, patience, tolerance – mine.
Learning, in preparation for familial happiness.
Plenty.
~
I had an attitude of plenty.
Built a family of my own
Marrying he who loved me from 17
Creating home and children – 1, 2, 3.
Formulating that which I’d conjured long ago.
Plenty
~
I had an attitude of plenty.
Knew I deserved it.
Focused on it. Got it.
Got it all, and then some.
Future, Family, Happiness, Love.
Plenty.
~
She is in there, still.
Although sometimes
Gone back to childhood.
Memories and moments
Now dance together,
Creating new realities
For her,
For us.
I am you – and you are me – and we are she -
Connected by love,
Shared experience
And synaptic inaccuracies.
As she shrinks,
The enormity of her influence
Is more apparent.
But then,
I think we always knew
We were in the presence
Of greatness.
Look.
Look here.
You’ll see it.
Epitome.
Female, feminine, defined, real.
Confident.
Strong.
Vibrant.
Brave.
All this,
And only at middle age.
Damn!
Watch.
Watch out.
It is done.
That simple?
That easy?
Three little words.
And then no more?
IF
It is done,
What was it in the first place?
And where do we go from here?
You? Me? Alpha? Omega?
Done?
Revelations.
Mindful of cadence and rhythm and rhyme,
She wrote poetry
Exclusively
for
The One.
Her turns of phrase and praise homed in.
After proper humility and gratitude,
She explained her needs
Before invoking strength, absolution, guidance or solution.
She wrote poetry.
For God.
To God.
With Him,
She was most intimate.
